Embarrasing Moment
Saturday, March 3, 2007
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You've all heard about horror stories where someone is thinking something in their head and then says it out loud, right? I remember once my pastor saying, "everyone out there is playing on the Gameboys" in his head but inadvertently said, "everyone out there is gaming on their Playboys." The crowd almost died.
I heard about a pastor once leaving his mic on and the whole crowd hearing what was happening backstage. Someone spilling water on themselves and then having to hide behind the pulpit because it looked like they had wet their pants. A sports announcer saying "penalty fag" instead of "penalty flag." Hilarious, when they don't happen to you.
Let's just say that I had a moment today that involves the words "condom" and "contact." Brutally funny, painful in front of 1,000 students, and always a smooth move when you're the host of the morning session. I'm sure it will be funny someday. Actually, it's pretty funny, now. I am SO embarrassed.
Here's some other classics I've found around the internet, maybe post a comment with yours too, if you want to wallow with me in total embarrassment. So wrong!
JG
posted by Unknown @ 8:04 AM |
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13 Comments:
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At 3/03/2007,
Chris Day said...
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Mine is more contextual. The first youth group worked at I was leading a lesson one night...about 20 kids...mostly non-churched kids. I had them turn to their Bible and said, "according to 14:6 who provides us a way we can get to the Father?"
After a few minute pause and some junior like answer I was getting MAD and they kept jacking around. That's when I lost my cool and said, "JESUS CHRIST! JESUS CHRIST!!" Meaning the answer to the question....they were appalled and thought I was swearing at them. -
At 3/03/2007,
John DeMarco said...
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Preaching to the church on Sunday morning, I made reference to a person who cussed like a "sailor." The church was attended mainly by people at the nearby naval base.
When I was in college I lost my cool with a junior high small group I was leading. I started to lecture them and then said the follow, "What the hell are we doing here!?" I graciously apologized and asked them not to tell their parents. -
At 3/03/2007,
Stevan said...
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it doesn't get better than this.
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At 3/03/2007,
Unknown said...
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Ah yes, classic. JG
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At 3/03/2007,
janalynn said...
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Josh - let's be honest for a moment - there were a few more words that you said before the word condom that made the story even more hysterical! But if nothing else it gave us some huge laughs at lunch time today, which by the way was the funniest lunch I have ever eaten, despite Cortez's sad demeanor.
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At 3/03/2007,
Unknown said...
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I cannot deny any of what you have said. This will be a day long remembered ...
JG -
At 3/03/2007,
Brent said...
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Where's the transcript?
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At 3/05/2007,
Strider said...
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Out here in Middle Earth we have had more than our share of language faux pas. My own favorite is when I was discipling about five guys and I was making a point about forgiveness. I was working my way into a lather and emphasising loudly that they had to get down on their knees with their brothers and pray for forgiveness with them. It was quite fortunate that one of the guys after several times my repeating this lifted his hand and stopped me and said, 'Uh, Strider, you want us to commit adultery?'
Yes, I had flipped the vowels around on my two syllable word for knees and turned it into adultery. I was just really glad that Merry had stopped me because in our culture it would make perfect sense for guys under the guilt and stress of sin to run out and commit adultery to get over it. Of course, language learning-wise I will never forget the word for knees again. -
At 3/05/2007,
Rob Cunningham said...
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several years ago, i was leading an adult C.E. class at my previous church. we were doing a church-wide focus on financial stewardship. our curriculum was called "pursuing financial success," i believe.
anyway, it's the first sunday. i get up in front of the group, which included my senior pastor's wife. i welcome everyone. specifically, i welcome them to "this exciting new class we're doing, 'pursuing financial sex' -- i mean, 'success.'"
the place exploded in laughter. somehow, remarkably, eventually i got back on track and made it through the session.
but my senior pastor had already heard the story before the service even began that day. and it remains a classic example of faux pas mistakes.
perhaps some of these stories will be good fodder for the failure episode of the podcast this week? -
At 3/05/2007,
Unknown said...
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Great story. And yes, I'm sure I can't AVOID this coming up on next week's show. GREAT... JG
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At 3/07/2007,
Phil said...
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ok, so i'm trying to figure out if i can write this story without taking up 15 inches of computer monitor glory.
the scene: winter retreat several years back.
the context: speaking to a large group of students, around a super bowl time frame (raiders vs. tampa).
came up with the illustration of 'It's like your dad is former college roommates with Jerry Rice, and he invites your family out to super bowl week (i believe in San Diego at the time)
But instead of you going to all the festivities, you stay back at your cheesy motel 6 because they have a pool. I mean, yeah the pool's great...but this is super bowl, and all the parties, and festivites and all that...you're missing out on something much bigger. But you're content to stay at the Motel 6 and work on your cannonball's and pencil dives.'
Illustration goes on...family comes back from parties, says you missed it, etc...but you've been working on your cannonballs and pencil dives...and you're just excited with that. You yell at them, 'Yeah, well look at my pencil'. And i then proceeded to take the form of the pencil dive and looked down (essentially in the same direction as my crotch...at the same time i said, 'Look at my pencil'.
When i looked up wondering if people had caught the irony...well...yeah, it took 5-10 minutes to get past the...uh...irony.
(hope that all translated ok...) -
At 6/25/2007,
Nick said...
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I had to find this post after I heard it talked about on episode 45. I was catching up on some older Podcasts...kind of funny after you had just blogged on "intercourse, PA!" I guess it was bound to happen?
I was doing a sex talk one time and was conveying to the students that just because I was a youth pastor didn't mean that I was ignorant about sex, I then said "Trust me I know all of the Ins and Outs of Sex." The kids didn't catch it right away, but one of my workers did...he bust out laughing and then everyone else got it too. -
At 1/04/2008,
Mike Lewis said...
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I won't provide the context...it's to long, but just imagine someone getting up and asking the whole church, "What will you do when God gives you the finger?"
